Reading Scottish Posts On Social Media Is Both Confusing And Utterly Hilarious
Yes, this is English. But I realize you may still need a translation. As an American who's never been to Scotland, I will do my best to serve as your faithful traslator.
Nan jokes are basically equivalent to "your mom" jokes.
Ex. "Ye nan sae fat, when she sit rounna hoose, she really sit rounna hoose."
Sorry, I can't actually translate this one because I'm too busy laughing about the fact that dug=dog.
"I used wallpaper to cover the floor of my tiny apartment because I don't know any better."
Well, they certainly write like they talk.
Ok, so here's what we know: a young Scottish gentleman's forgotten his password. And here's what we don't know: what the fuck he's talking about.
"Oh no! I'm terribly concerned about the possibility of strangers handing children ecstasy disguised as pill-sized candy this Halloween!"
I just don't know. Something about buying tickets and weed.
"I have a court date in a few hours. Very grateful to have a true friend accompanying me on this nerve-wracking day. Are you still meeting me there, friend?"
"Apologies, I accidentally slept in, but I can still make it. I had to stay up late taking care of my young child."
"Oh, not a problem. The court date was moved to two weeks from today, so I slept in as well."
"Fuck knows what my mother used to wash my work clothes. They smell like Lenor." After some research, I've discovered "Lenor" is the UK equivalent of Downy. So, pretty dumb comment overall.
"Adele's voice is good, but her lyrics are clearly written by someone with the emotional intelligence and reading comprehension skills of a 9th grader." Harsh words, and this totally doesn't reflect my own personal views. Like, at all...
"I kindly asked my father to go to the store and purchase normal-sized feminine hygiene pads, but he came back with pads that comically resembled snowboards in their sheer enormity. I'm in the middle of my period, not the winter olympics!"