5 Technology Hacks That May Make You Tingle With Sexual Delight
Technology has streamlined our lives into a new realm that we probably never could've imagined possible. It's wildly exciting, but the only thing more exciting than all these advancements, is the titillating thought of completely ignoring them. Yeah, seriously, take a step back from technology for a moment and you will feel sexual sensation of enjoyment that you probably thought was even possible. See how fast we turned this whole thing around? Read on, for your own pleasure.
Oh. My. God. That is fantastic. Yes, uh-huh. Don't read that email. That's exactly the way it was intended to be. Just ignore that email. You saw the subject line–that's good enough. Oh, wow: this is pleasurable. Some might even call it addicting? Do it sparingly, but enjoy every moment of it.
*tingles down the back of your spine*
Oh, yeah: that's the stuff! Just get these emails out of your life forever. No need to keep these dumb updates coming into your inbox any longer, and if you must, see #1 again for how to handle them. Either way, this is a pleasure fest just waiting to happen.
*shivers with excitement*
Instead of picking up your phone every few moments when somebody else rudely responds to a group text when it could've been moved to a personal message, just leave your phone inside the thread–that way it won't keep going off. You won't even have to deal with that excruciating process if you do this, and instead will be tingling with joy.
*reaching desirable state of satisfaction*
YES! Just don't even us the technology that's been bestowed upon you. It's invigorating. Forget about it. you don't need it. Ignore it (the technology and specifically the phone call)! Oh baby, that's the good stuff. Right?! No more phone calls.
*tantalize yourself until the next moment you can ignore a call*
There it is! The climactic revelation of technological orgasmic bliss! No more bells and whistles and vibrations coming from your pocket (except for the good stuff, mmmmkay?!). Just put it on silent and hack your way back into real life and get some of that real-life satisfaction you've been craving.
*screams "woo" as the process of ignoring technology is complete, and it was good*
Oh geez. Oh wow. Yup. That's exactly how it was intended to be done. Nothing to fancy. Just going right for it, and getting the job done. Everybody involved is happy. You'll remember it much longer this way too. Oh my. Yup. Okay. That's nice.
*overjoyed with new mindset on technology and intends to share 'gift' with the world*