The Real Meaning Behind The Long Drawn Out Process Of Deciding Where To Go Eat
Going out to eat sounds like a simple enough and enjoyable enough activity for anybody to want to participate and engage in. Choose a nice place (it doesn't have to be fancy), agree to go there with whomever you plan on dining with, go there and then eat. That's it. Even if it's just choosing between a burrito or a burger. Just pick one, and get on with the consumption of food and light conversation. It sounds so simple, but in reality, it's a complex series of questions, retractions and hatred.
"Where do you want to eat?"
That's literally it. Just where do you want to eat. It's not that hard. Just say what you want to eat, and this entire thing will be done for. Don't over think it. Don't say "I don't care," because everyone cares, they just won't say it. What is it that you want to shovel down your throat? Just tell me!
"Fine, how about we go to (insert restaurant)?"
Since you didn't want to say what you wanted, I'll suggest something and hope to get the ball rolling. This whole thing could end here if you'd just say, "No, I'd rather go to (insert restaurant)," but alas you're very indecisive, yet picky. You do realize how counterintuitive your actions are. Not saying you care, but also scoffing at the idea, right?
The subliminal messages…
"You don't care?"
Oh, you don't care? Really? Because, after my suggestion you rolled your eyes. If you don't care, why can't we just go to (insert restaurant)? If you honestly don't care, why are we still debating this? What are you really saying when you say you don't care? Are you subliminally attempting to make me realize how much you actually want something?
"That'll work. That's fine. Etc."
So, we're agreed upon this option? We're going to go to (insert restaurant)? We're happily eating at (insert restaurant) and there's no need to discuss this any further? It's crazy it's taken this long, but at least, we've reached a decision, and now we can simply go enjoy our meal. No need to get in a fight over where we're planning on dining, considering how easy of a decision it really should be, right?
"Wait, you just agreed to go here!"
Hold on: now you don't want to go to (insert restaurant)? I thought we were agreed upon that, that was where we would be dining? What changed? Are we about to argue? THIS SEEMS LUDICROUS! Can we not just go to (insert restaurant)? We've discussed this so long I think we've actually missed this particular meal time, and now it's time for the next meal of the day. WHAT DO YOU WANT? It should be that simple, but I understand you think it's not for some reason.
"You just said you didn't want that?!"
Now, we've circled all the way back around to the initial suggestion? How did that happen? We just discussed what felt like infinite options, just because you said you didn't want this, and now you're saying that you do in fact want this? We could've already been there and eaten by now, so I'm going to have to be stubborn and say that we are not going to eat there, just because at this point it doesn't feel right. Do you even want to go anywhere?!
"Fine, let's just order pizza."
I'm done hashing this out with you, and there's one thing that everyone can agree upon, at all times from just about anywhere. Instead of trying to convince you to go to (insert restaurant), or pry it out of you what it is in fact that you do want, I'm just going to circumvent this cyclical conversation and make an executive decision:
"We're staying in and ordering pizza. So, what do you want on your pizza?"
*same situation unfolds, but in terms of toppings*