If You're Always High, One Of These 13 Things Has Probably Happened To You
Just a little smoke, and suddenly shit gets crazy.
1. Uncontrollable laughing fits
Stoner: *laughs uncontollably*
Family: What's so funny?
Stoner: *still laughing* Sodas... sodas everywhere...
2. Forgetting appliances and animals don't function like TV remotes
3. Getting confused about your surroundings
Stoner: "Whoa dude is this, like, the 1600s or something?"
Campus tour guide: "Sir, please stop trying to smoke the leaves. They're maple."
4. *Almost* getting ripped off
Note: do not try this. I can't say for sure, but I have a feeling it won't hold up in court.
5. Getting lost
Stoner: *on phone* "Hi mom, I'll be home in 15 minutes"
[four hours pass]
Stoner's mom: *on phone* "Where are you?"
Stoner: "Space I think?"
6. Putting weird shit in your pockets
To be fair, sweatshirt pockets are perfectly donut-sized.
7. Wildly skewed observations
Stoner's friend: "Where have you been? You said you'd be here at five"
Stoner: "It is five."
Stoner's friend: "I meant 5pm you stoned fuck."
8. Forgetting your sense of self
Stoner: "I can see so much more clearly."
Stoner's friend: "Why, do you have glaucoma?"
Stoner: "No, it's just that I have all these eyes."
9. Experiencing primal fear
Thank god for the poor vision of dinosaurs.
10. Having a heightened imagination
This is also occasionally referred to as "mild hallucinations." You'll probably be fine. If you feel like you're being chased by a woman with snakes for hair, though, I recommend not looking her in the eye. Actually, you might have smoked bath salts by mistake.
11. Approaching mundane things with intense, childlike excitement
Must've been some dank-ass flowers.
12. Doing weird things for no apparent reason
Stoner: "I'm hungry and I want to watch a movie."
Stoner's friend: "Well I mean we can watch Netflix, but I don't have any vegan food here."
Stoner: "Wait nvm I've got a better idea."
13. Mistaking someone for someone else