God Help Us, These 17 Derps Thought 'The Onion' Was Real
I'll be honest, this stupidity is a little troublesome.
The internet is full of a bunch of sarcastic dicks. It's great!-- If you get the sarcasm. If you don't, well, then you become part of it. These guys really missed the memo that The Onion is a satirical publication. As punishment, we're laughing at them, not with them. And by laughing I mean nervous laughing, because y'all dumb and it's concerning.
1. This mercenary.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/uk2fwyxzxuag2wvs07ze.jpg)
In desperate need of Gospel, send halp.
2. This evolutionist.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/rpftssxrylrlfebv0gwx.jpg)
![animation_image](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/r6bgnmbxrfnuytnrfcxi.gif)
3. This guy who gives journalism the benefit of the doubt.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/g2uh5ioh1n59zxkpijmq.jpg)
Surprise! You, actually can make this up.
4. This skeptical Gorilla Linguist.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/ydarcauvusjwyo9gjvb7.jpg)
"With that said..."
![animation_image](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/nxb30bsqvudfpp0swkb3.gif)
5. This misguided pro-lifer has society's problems all figured out.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/w92gbnvtazw7adar8sfo.jpg)
"But the concept..."
6. This guy who believes God created us all as we should be.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/ghiblfslg1azvd124ic9.jpg)
"Fools!"
7. These concerned event planners.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/qzzlnfgyvr7rlc2bht5p.jpg)
Chicago, man. It's rough there.
![animation_image](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/ffligk8wrdy63mi82hzc.gif)
8. This big time Gwyneth fan who believes food stamps actually lead to death.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/ayewnwojdojoq8ds6kfe.jpg)
9. "R" sprinted to Best Buy to be first in line for the cutting-edge blowjob computer.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/pe83bho5ij5iznchzsp1.jpg)
![animation_image](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/hrcxfwwzxokfudsdiyez.gif)
10. This guy who really feels seeing is believing.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/wlt44jv11s0akdaos2vm.jpg)
Not on the internet, buddy.
11. This person who only cares what you look like on the outside.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/fsvzuzsbk2wcnf8m7c6t.jpg)
![animation_image](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/avyqu7i7oybxaznfqmfz.gif)
12. "E" thought schools were serving up bricks and washcloths to kids as sustenance.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/afcpqzdzaytyo77lcplc.jpg)
![animation_image](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/gjypwvu8mqv5kvcbqjk8.gif)
13. These guys thought The Onion was in favor of lion attacks.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/yiucdvtysbqmazn01l6k.jpg)
14. Actress Kate Mara was surprised by Sea World taking such an active role in solving the California drought crisis.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/zehlsdppl12ui8liziir.jpg)
15. This case-cracking detective is ready to start a personal investigation.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/nl5lobnr6cpqymighrsc.jpg)
Everyone knows the government and Sea World is in cahoots.
16. This person thought they make sandwich baggies as big as whales.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/ke9e0t2ype5qhyzyp7nn.jpg)
And that a giant rubber band would be the appropriate tie for such a holding device.
Apparently Sea World is an easy target.
17. "H" was vindicated.
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/uc4miymrb7e0ywqbmyhb.jpg)
Point proven by an "ACTUAL" Onion article.
![animation_image](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/eornxtica6dchbf79ras.gif)