21 Freakouts We All Have When We Get Something In Our Eye

1. The firstitch

21 Freakouts We All Have When We Get Something In Our Eye

Anna Walters

“I’M NOT CRYING, OKAY?!”

It’s a warm, breezy day. The birds are chirping, the flowers are in bloom and the air is…full of pollen and crap. It’s only a matter of time before some of that flying debris gets in your eyeball and you absolutely lose your shit. Before you go cycling through denial, anger, bargaining and the lot, just breathe. We’ve all been there. Don’t try to fight it — just surrender to the inevitable trauma of trying to remove a foreign object from your delicate peeper.

1. The first itch

Head In A Blender

2. The casual wipe

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3. Full-on rubbing

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4. Remembering you’re not supposed to rub your eye

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5. The frantic look-around

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6. Excessive blinking

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7. Friends asking if you’re okay

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8. Insisting you’re fine

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9. Trying to sit still long enough to use eyedrops

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10. Giving up and sticking your head in a water fountain

Nike Talk

11. More furious eye rubbing

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12. Asking a friend to lick your eyeball

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13. Accepting that you may never get this damn thing out

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14. Googling “eyeball removal”

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15. Googling “how to look fierce in an eye patch”

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16. Considering your future life as a cyclops

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17. Starting to cry, like the drama queen you are

18. Realizing the mysterious irritant is gone

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19. Feelin’ yourself again

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20. Like, really feelin’ yourself

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21. Until the vicious cycle begins again

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