24 Texts All Women Have Sent To The Person They’re Sorta Dating
Because there’s totally a difference between “haha,” “lol” and “HAHAHA.”
1. “Hey! How was your week?”
Translation: I’m borrrrred. Might as well text the cute guy from the bar last weekend and see if he’s about it.
2. “Are you going to the party tonight?”
Translation: I need to know whether or not to shave my entire body/put on a second coat of mascara in case there’s a chance of us hooking up.
3. ???????? Any kind of emojis
Translation: I want to keep the conversation going even though I have nothing substantial to add.
4. “No worries! I’m running a bit late myself.”
Translation: FUCK THIS GUY. But obviously I’ll just pretend I’m running late too, so he doesn’t think I’m a desperate loser.
5. “I know you really like [insert hipster band here], so you should definitely check out [insert hipster ripoff band here]!”
Translation: I don’t want to have another boring “hey, what’s up?” convo, so I took the liberty of searching your favorite band’s related artists on Spotify, in an attempt to look hip.
6. “Sorry just saw this! Had a really busy day. I don’t know if I’ll be able to hang out this weekend :/”
Translation: I actually had a pretty low key week, but you’re boring and now I want an out without having to have a direct conversation about it. I’m a jerk, I know.
7. “OMG I can’t stop thinking about the sushi we had last night. So good.”
Translation: I can’t stop thinking about the sex we had last night. So good.
8. “I’m finally watching Game of Thrones.”
Translation: Hey look, we have things in common! That’s a good relationship sign! Marry me?
9. “I think the place we’re going to tonight might be sort of fancy haha.”
Translation: I wanted an excuse to try this place and also see how it feels to be with you in a setting outside of a corner dive bar. Also, PLEASE notice how much time I put into this effortlessly polished look.
Translation: You’re hilarious and I’m dying.
Translation: I’m laughing but trying to play it cool.
Translation: I feel awkward.
Translation: You’re not funny, please go away.
13. What are you up to?
Translation: Are we going to hang out? Why is it taking so long for you to text me? I’ll make other plans if you’re busy, but at least want to know if I have the option of seeing you.
14. “Maybe we can meet up later!”
Translation: I’m horny 4 u.
15. “It’s almost the weekend, THANK GOD.”
Translation: We can finally hook up!
16. “I don’t know if I’m going out yet, might stay in and sleep.”
Translation: Are YOU going out?
17. “I kinda just feel like chilling in and watching a movie.”
Translation: I want alone time right now.
18. “I kinda just feel like chilling in and watching [insert movie you both love]”
Translation: Come over.
19. “I’m going out to the bars with some friends from college!”
Translation: I’m prioritizing my girls tonight, but I still want to see you, make out a little and then gossip about it.
20. “LOL, this guy keeps flirting with me.”
Translation: Are you jealous? Please tell me you’re jealous.
21. “I just deleted Tinder, I’m kinda over it haha.”
Translation: Are you on Tinder still?? Can we please just make this official?!
22. “It’s your turn to pick the restaurant this time!”
Translation: I’m annoyed you make me choose every time, and then say “I don’t care” whenever I ask where you want to go.
23. “I can’t wait to go to bed.”
Translation: Nope, you’re not getting any of this Lady Mary tonight (what I’ve nicknamed my vagina”
24. “Brunch tomorrow?”
Translation: I like you enough that I want to see you in the morning. I want to spend all day with you if you’re up for it. I’m falling for you.