I Used Kanye West Tweets To Talk To Guys On Tinder & Maybe Found My Soulmate

First, I updated my Tinder bio with my personal favorite Kanyetweet.

I Used Kanye West Tweets To Talk To Guys On Tinder & Maybe Found My Soulmate

Julianne Ishler

I just wanna find someone who loves me as much as Kanye loves Kanye.

I’m a 24-year-old girl who’s been at her Tinder game for a good two years now, with little luck. So I thought: Who better than self-proclaimed genius and modern-day Shakespeare, Kanye West, to help guide me through the Tinderspere? I mean, if Kanye can command the whole world’s attention by tweeting just a few words, then surely I can succeed in captivating ONE guy by following Yeezy’s example.

Right?

So, for one week, I responded to guys on Tinder with only Kanye’s tweets. I went into this experiment with no expectations, and came out with a potential husband…and shamefully, a new appreciation for Kanye’s Twitter rants.

First, I updated my Tinder bio with my personal favorite Kanye tweet.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

If that doesn’t reel in the hotties, I don’t know what will.

It quickly became clear I’d have to kiss a lot of Kris Humphries before finding my Kanye.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

That Kanye-level hubris doesn’t look so fly on normal dudes.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

This guy was totally down to support my dreams, buuuuuut I’m not a dog person.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

K, glad we’re on the same page.

I mean, if this guy can’t even be responsible for his water bottle, how will he be responsible with my HEART?!

Dose — Julianne Ishler

This heartless dude doesn’t give a shit about my spiritual journey.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

Hahaha, I just made this guy waste two hours of his life watching “Zoolander 2.” Sucka.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

This guy was very down to dance in the streets/go to Ikea/and maybe even the Grammys with me.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

Nvm, he’s a total pushover. Pass.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

Seriously, how are these dudes NOT picking up on this?

Surprisingly, I had to swipe through a TON of guys to find a guy named Mark, so I could take advantage of Kanye’s Mark Zuckerberg tweets. It was a true meeting of the minds. I found a Platonic friend, with whom I discussed politics and economic freedom.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

But then he used a gross line, followed by a WINK EMOJI. Ew.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

And done.

What are the chances that my random Kanye NYC tweet would land on a guy who actually GOES TO THAT RESTAURANT?

Dose — Julianne Ishler

Maybe Kanye IS up to something. Maybe he actually is the god he claims to be.

WHY WON’T YOU JUST ANSWER THE G-D QUESTION?

Dose — Julianne Ishler

This sensitive soul was really feeling his connection to YE me.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

…like a lot.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

Unlike my last boyfriend, this stranger didn’t run when I said, “I love you.” In fact, he totally rolled with it. Suck it, Douglas.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

And then a Belieber came along, and I started to have hope in this love game…as long as he loves me and we can be starving, homeless and broke together.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

p.s. My favorite song is “Confident.”

Eventually, it seemed like some of the dudes were catching on to my Yeezy game. This guy was on fire. ????

Dose — Julianne Ishler

You know what he won’t be spying? Lady Mary. (That’s what I’ve nicknamed my vagina.)

Dose — Julianne Ishler

That conversation had me like…

Instagram — kimkardashian

The next suitor caught on right away, replying to my Kanye tweet with a ridiculous Pablo quote. It was Bound 2 happen.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

Just when I began to lose hope, the Yeezy stars collided. I knew it was love when he fired back with Kanye quotes and pop culture references. He literally played fire with fire! *Gasps*

Dose — Julianne Ishler

He then quoted Kim — *MIC DROP* — so I allowed him to have his moment, pressing the green heart to signal my approval. My beautiful dark twisted fantasy became reality.

Dose — Julianne Ishler

The end!