Is Your Vibrator Ruining Your Sex Life?

Lets put all those nasty rumors tobed.

Is Your Vibrator Ruining Your Sex Life?

Ilana Gordon

Ines Vuckovic/Dose

Let’s put all those nasty rumors to bed.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single person in possession of a vagina, must be in want of a vibrator. I’m paraphrasing Jane Austen, but I’m sure she’d agree: the Mr. Darcy’s of the world are great, but sex toys are easier to cum by.

Vibrators seem too good to be true — maybe that’s why women are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. The internet is littered with myths about vibrators — how they work, what they do and whether or not they’re helping or hindering our sexual activities.

Much of orgasming is mental, so let’s light some candles, switch on some smooth jams and put an end to this misinformation once and for all.

Will using a sex toy ruin me for actual sex?

Orgasming is a spectrum and some of us can climax more easily than others. But as the old joke goes, “How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice.” Masturbating regularly will help you to familiarize yourself with your genitals and connect with your sexual preferences.

Alana Baum is a sex and consent educator and she worries that the myth that sex toys can ruin a person’s relationship with intercourse is reductive. “Many people who exercise incorporate weights, machines, and products in their workout routines. Yet they aren’t met with questions like, “Will you ever be able to go on a run again?”’

She adds that vibrators and other sex toys are important tools for people with non-normative sexualities, but they can also be key for cis-women looking to explore the scope and depth of their own pleasure.

“As long as sex toys are incorporated in sexual play in ways that are consensual, healthy, and safe, they don’t run any risk of ‘ruining’ anything,” she says.

Can my vagina lose sensitivity?

A 2009 paper published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 52% of the 2,056 women surveyed use or have used a vibrator for masturbation, foreplay or intercourse. Only 17% of all vibrator users reported experiencing vaginal numbness, and most claim the side effects only lasted a day.

In addition to writing the 2009 paper, Debby Herbenick also works as a sexual educator at the University of Indiana. “It’s possible that vibrator use does change sensitivity, but it’s also possible that receiving oral sex or having vaginal intercourse changes sensitivity, too!” Herbenick tells the Daily Dot.

There’s not enough scientific information available to make a definitive ruling, but suffice it to say that your vagina is strong and built to withstand friction and stimulation.

Does using a vibrator prevent me from having multiple orgasms?

Shania Twain once said “The best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun,” but she’s wrong. It’s multiple orgasms. I can’t believe we’re even debating this.

One common masturbation myth is that your vibrator is so powerful, it can inhibit your vagina’s sensitive nerve endings, lengthening the period of time you have to wait between climaxes. There is no scientific data to back up this claim, but there is evidence to refute it: In articles about pursuing multiple orgasms, Redbook, Bustle, Medical Daily and Glamour all recommend incorporating a vibrator.

Help! I can’t get off without my vibrator!

Using a vibrator when you masturbate may help you achieve orgasm more quickly, but some experts caution that it can also build up your sexual tolerance, making it difficult for you to climax when you’re being fingered or enjoying oral.

If you worry that you have become dependent on your sex toys, try taking a break. Human on human sex may take longer and require more communication, but people are nuanced in ways that battery operated penises are not.

If you find yourself unable to climax without a vibrator, don’t fret. Whip it out and, as another old saying goes, “You do you.”

Should I use a vibrator?

Alana says that anyone who is interested in exploring their sexuality can benefit from using sex toys. She’s seen vibrators work wonders for people across a wide swath of gender and sexuality, from post-menopausal women to straight men to post-op trans women and everyone in between.

Alana recommends purchasing a vibrator in person, preferably at a sex shop with high quality, body-safe products. As for ordering online, she says, “I tend to dissuade people from purchasing sex toys on Amazon or shopping at retail locations where staff are not educated about the quality and applied uses of their products.”

When asked about the negative myths surrounding vibrators, Alana says that they have more to do with sexism, homophobia and sexual stigma than the sex toys themselves.

“I like to remind people that they are the experts of their own body. Each of us has the right to pursue sexual pleasure and discover the people, objects, activities, places, and sensations that can ignite our erotic desires.”

Amen.