Plan your next vacation around these crappy destinations.
We have destination weddings. Why not destination dumps?
Toilets are an often-overlooked, but vital part of visiting any far-away locale. Anyone who’s needed to spray the porcelain in the middle of Times Square knows that finding a proper place to pop-a-squat can be more than a little challenging.
So why not travel with the toilet as your destination? Let’s be real, you’re gonna end up on one anyway.
Behold, 12 places with toilets so beautiful, I’d make a trip solely for the opportunity to *ahem* slop some gruel into Oliver’s bowl.
1. Placencia, Belize
‘Toilet Island,’ as it’s become known, is barely big enough for you to get away from the smell of the mammoth deuce you’ll be dropping, but don’t worry. The warm sea breeze will carry the stench back to those plebs who are still doing their business on the mainland.
2. Enontekio, Finland
Finland is a beautiful country and when do we appreciate beauty more than when we’re dropping a contemplative loaf? Feel the breeze between yo’ knees on this gorgeous throne just off Europe’s northernmost hiking trail.
3. Krafla, Iceland
No one knows who installed this toilet/shower setup near the Krafla Geothermal Power Station or what kind of desperate circumstances might’ve preceded its construction. What we do know is whoever built it definitely didn’t suffer from stage fright. This is guaranteed to be one of the coldest, and most public, pisses of your life.
4. Sagarmartha National Park, Nepal
Significantly colder, but significantly less public is this outhouse nestled somewhere in the Himalayas. Backpack a lil’ too heavy to finish the climb? Here’s a place where you can lighten your proverbial load.
5. Barafu Camp, Tanzania
Scaling Mt. Kilimanjaro is certainly not for the faint of heart, but apparently, you need nerves of steel just to answer nature’s call during your ascent. This cliff-side crapper redefines what it means to drop a deuce.
6. Ladakh, India
Leave it to a bunch of Buddhist monks to create the most Zen restroom experience of your life. Make your way to the Thicksey Monastery to feel as one with the universe as it’s possible for you to feel while there’s digested Indian food slidin’ outcha’ rear.
7. Jonsknuten, Kongsberg, Norway
If writing this article taught me anything, it’s that Northern Europeans know how to shit in style. From the mysterious, open-air loo in Iceland, to the remote outhouse in Finland, to this Norwegian lavatory, if you don’t mind crap that’s on the colder side, Northern Europe looks like the place to be.
8. Corfu, Greece
How ‘bout that reveal, though? The facilities themselves might not be anything remarkable, but that poolside view silhouetted with mountains? Can’t beat it.
9. Seoul, South Korea
You’ll be able to enjoy the breathtaking view from the Seoul Tower as you spend 15 minutes figuring whether you’re supposed to sit or stand while using this perplexing porcelain. Or maybe it’s a sink. Maybe it’s both. I don’t know how they do things in Korea, but if I really gotta go you can bet I’m not taking the time to figure it out.
10. Schlamding, Austria
I really hope that’s two-way glass, but, from the look of our yellow-jacketed observer, I’m guessing that draining the sea monster on this mountain in Austria is a not-so-private affair.
11. Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Nothing like pinching a loaf on top of the world’s tallest existing structure to really give an ol’ boost to the ego. Not only are the bathrooms inside Dubai’s Burj Khalifa luxurious, but your dookie might reach terminal velocity as it’s piped back down to the Earth.
12. Mt. Whitney, California
For those of you who love a challenge, our final porcelain throne sits at the SUMMIT of the highest mountain in the contiguous United States. Can you imagine the satisfaction? You’ve just spent days climbing to an elevation of 14,505 feet and what’s waiting for you at the top? The best, god-damn, poo of your life. Now that’s a destination dump.