Ines Vuckovic/Dose

Labia lipstick is made by a company named ‘Mensez.’ That’s right: ‘Men. Says.’

Dr. Daniel Dopps believes in regular exercise, maintaining a healthy diet and that menstruating women should trash their tampons in favor of gluing their vaginas shut.

Allow me to clarify: This is 100% serious.

The story of this Wichita, Kansas chiropractor came to light the way all good stories do: thanks to a viral social media post. On Feb. 17th, Facebook user Thea Butler posted screenshots from a company called Mensez. The post teases the release of a new feminine hygiene product, which claims to revolutionize the way women deal with their menstrual flows, effectively eliminating the need for “tampons, pads, vag cups or period panties.”

According to his personal LinkedIn page, Dr. Dopps is the President and CEO of Mensez Innovations. Here’s how describes the company’s eponymous product:

“Mensez feminine lipstick is a natural patented compound of amino acids and oil in a lipstick applicator that is applied to the labia minora and causes them to cling together in a manner strong enough to retain menstrual fluid in the vestibule above the labia minora where the vaginal opening and urethra exit.”

Where doth all that pent-up “menstrual fluid” go? Into the toilet—apparently urine washes the labia “lipstick” away when a woman goes to the bathroom.

“No pads or tampons are needed,” claims the product description. “Safe, secure and clean.”

The description alone elicits multiple red flags, but before we delve in, allow me to point out the extreme irony of bestowing upon a product intended for women a moniker that sounds suspiciously like “Men Says.”

Dopps patented Mensez on January 10th, but in an interview with Forbes, he admits that only a few women have tested the product. He neglects to mention whether or not Mensez works or how the women felt about the physical and emotional experience of securing their vaginal lips with a holistic glue stick.

Chiropractors aren’t medical doctors, but even so, vaginal nuances seem to escape Dr. Dopps entirely. Facebook users have expressed concern that he doesn’t understand the difference between a urethra (the channel which carries urine from the body) and the vagina. Dopps inadvertently confirmed these suspicions during his Forbes interview, when he suggested that Mensez is “using the vagina like a bladder, just like tampons do.”

Setting aside Dopp’s woefully inaccurate understanding of female anatomy and biological functions, the product highlights a continuing failure to address a global health issue: Feminine hygiene products are largely considered luxury items, and as such, are not covered by insurance or food stamps. Low-income women often go without, forcing them to skip out on school or work obligations, leaving them trapped in a poverty cycle.

For Dopps’ product to fulfill its potential, it has to actually work. And right now, there is no indication that it does: Questions about how the product remains impervious to both blood and sweat, but not to urine, have gone unanswered. So have questions about potential infection and vaginal safety.

Mensez is not Dr. Dopps’ first foray into product development: His LinkedIn page details some of his previous inventions, including an on-the-go beverage cap and ClearNeon, an “invisible UV reactive coating used for training in hazardous material handling and protection.” Still, concerns about Mensez are valid, if for no other reason than Dr. Dopps appears to be a blatant misogynist. In response to a comment on the Mensez Facebook page, he writes:

“Yes, I am a man and you as a woman, should have come up with a better solution than diapers and plugs, but you didn’t. Reason being women are focused on and distracted by your period 25% of the time, making them far less productive than they could be. Women tend to me [sic] far more creative than men, but their periods that stifle them and play with their heads.”

The Mensez company website promises that “Old ways won’t open new doors.” It’s unclear precisely which door Dr. Dopps is attempting to crack open with this new endeavor, but here’s hoping it hits him square in the ass on the way out.