This is Heather—my mom.
Heather is a very cool mom. She has a million friends ranging from biker dudes to successful business folk. Her social life is ten times mine—even during my birthday month. On any given weeknight, you can find her out on the town, aboard a speed boat, or dancing her heart out at at a Pink Floyd cover concert wearing some kind of hat. My mom is so cool, most of my friends from home talk to her more than me. They run into her at bars and seek her out for advice or a place to crash.
Most of the time, my mom’s “coolness” makes me want to stick my head in a toilet. I’m convinced she uses “Sex and the City” as justification for her lifestyle. I just pray she never discovers the Bravo channel. God knows she’d watch Ramona from “The Real Housewives of New York” and get inspired.
But just how cool is she really? I mean, could a 51-year-old really be that in tune with today’s cool culture? I decided to put my mom’s hip-ness to the test. We sat down for a little Facetime chat (a very cool and tech-savvy way to communicate with a mom) to discuss millennial slang terms and what they meant to her.
- On board or “good with it”
“I’m on board with it. I’m good with it.”
- Something to do with farting
- Something sexual
giving me life
- changing my attitude
- making more alert or aware
“I just drank a monster energy drink and it’s giving me life.”
- Homosexual tendencies
“I want some fomo, fo sho.”
2. The opposite of mofo
“Give me some fomo on that.”
- On fire, but not literally
“That’s totally lit up!”
- Really high or drunk
beat for the gawds
- Try your hardest
“Meat for the gods— I could guess that.”
- Past tense term for vagina
- After the fact
- Past tense of turn
“He turnt my way and winked at me”
- Assessing the situation
“Let’s sus it and try to figure out what to do for the night.”
- Worth the chase; huntable
“That girl is hunty.”
netflix and chill
- Chill out watching some netflix
“We’re just gonna watch some Netflix and chill out”
- Screw something up; to make a mistake
“You really put a ratchet in it.”
Heather is about as cool as moms come, but when it comes to millennial lingo, she’s got a lot of catching up to do.
Here are some of her most shining moments from this very cool chat: