Your ideal partner is someone just like you.
Relationships are incredibly difficult, especially when there’s so much pressure to find “the one.” But it turns out you’re not entirely to blame for your dating difficulties, you might have just been getting the wrong advice.
Researchers at the University of Kansas and Wellesley College have discovered the phrase “opposites attract” only applies to magnets. Published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, it found that people are actually much more drawn to others who share the same views and values.
So, next time your nosy aunts start asking you what happened to the last person you brought to family dinner, you can just tell them that you’re taking a scientific new approach to dating. ????
Science says opposites DON’T attract.
Study authors Angela Bahns from Wellesley University and Chris Crandall from the University of Kansas may have cracked the code to your complicated love life.
The study included 1,500 random pairs who were in both romantic and platonic relationships.
They were surveyed on their prejudices, personalities and attitudes and found that their commonalities, rather than their differences, are what set the tone for their relationships.
So having lots in common with your potential mate is a huge indicator that you’re meant to be.
When deciding to proceed with these relationships, participants said the similarities they shared with their partners are what sealed the deal. “Those early recognitions of similarity are really consequential in that decision,” said Bahns.
Another one of the study’s major findings was that people don’t change, even when their relationships mature.
This means people actually have very little social influence over one another when they share similarities at the beginning of their relationships. With science on your side, you can now confidently cut ties with that one person you keep hoping will change their ways.
Now go forth and multiply—with someone you have almost everything in common with!
Looks like Ilana had it right all along.