Antonio Manaligod/Dose

Our Taco, who art of chicken, jalapeño’d be thy sauce.

October 31 has costumes and free candy, the last Thursday of November has turkey and family infighting, but October 4, my personal favorite fall holiday, has TACOS.

That’s right—National Taco Day is upon us once again, and it’s time to bless the fuck up. So wipe the sour cream off your face, put on your best meat-sweatpants, and get ready to kneel before the altar of Tacos, Our Lord And Savory.

Are you a first-time celebrant of this high holiday of yum? No need to study the holy (recipe) book, just clasp your greasy hands together and recite these prayers. Tradition holds that the truly devout will be rewarded with a sprinkling of shredded cheese and lettuce from on high.

The Hail Hard Shell

The Virgin Molé. | Antonio Manaligod/Dose

Hail Taco, full of meat, the salsa’s with thee. Blessed art thou amongst street food and blessed is the melt of thy three cheeses. Holy Lettuce, Mother of Crunch, pray for us droolers, now and at the hour of our lunch, amen. ????

The Our Taco

Antonio Manaligod/Dose

Our Taco, who art of chicken, jalapeño’d be thy sauce; Thy queso come, thy guac be done, as smashed as it is in heaven. Give us tortillas, our daily carbs, and forgive us cilantro as we forgive those who think it tastes like soap. And lead us not into Chipotle, just deliver us burritos. Amen. ????